Feeling confident around girls is something many guys struggle with, but
it doesn’t mean you are destined to a lifetime of loneliness. Being shy
creates a reluctance to engage socially for fear of becoming
embarrassed. Overcoming shyness is about putting your focus and energy
outward during a conversation with a girl. If you work to control your
feelings of shyness, and then take steps to build your confidence, you
can be the life of the party.
Understand what it means to be shy. Characteristics
of being shy can be manifested in different ways under different
circumstances for each individual. Knowing what situations cause your
feelings of shyness can help you address the symptoms of shyness when
they occur:
- Being hesitant to speak up in social situations
- Mumbling or talking softly
- Avoiding social gatherings
- Being overly talkative due to nervousness.
Recognize what situations make you feel shy.
Understanding that almost everyone feels shy at some point can help you
overcome your own feelings of shyness. It is natural to be nervous under
uncertain circumstances. When you can mentally prepare for a situation
it is less likely to make you nervous and shy because you know what to
expect. Plan ahead and you’ll be ready to take on challenges as they are
no longer unknowns.
Change your internal monologue. If you are constantly
saying negative things about yourself in your head, then you will have
an extremely hard time ever feeling confident. Even though it isn’t
true, telling yourself phrases like “I’m just socially awkward” or
“Nobody will ever like me, I’m too weird” will make you believe you are
not worthy of attention from a girl. Instead create a mantra that builds
you up:
- “I am awesome!”
- “I like talking to everyone!”
- “I am going to meet new people today.”
Avoid over analyzing what people are saying. Many times shyness is a result of perceived perceptions.
People think that others see them a certain way and make that their
reality, when in fact, no one is having the thoughts you believe they
are. Take people for their word and don’t worry about what someone might
be thinking.
Focus your attention on the people you’re talking to.
Instead of centering the conversation around you, talk to and about
other people. Avoid starting sentences with “I” and talk about the other
person’s interests instead. If you’re not thinking about yourself, it
is less likely you will find yourself feeling shy!
Have a good time! When you are happy and enjoying
yourself it is much less likely that you will feel shy. Let yourself
have fun and don’t be afraid to relax.